How to Spell Alaphabets Funny Jokes
If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?
Because they don't have access to black magic.
I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell
Looking at it now, I see why
Careful, this is an alphabet bomb!
If it goes off, it could spell disaster!
I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles
My next dump could spell disaster
Medical School Entrance Exam...
When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."
Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.
Entrance Exam
A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."
Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.
The rest ended up in Congress.
Poor Ajmal.
After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".
Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?
She forgot to use Spell Check.
I'm sorry about your parents, but no spell can reawaken the dead, Harry!
Except for the time turner. We'll use that to save Buckbeak.
Why do all polish names end in ski?
Because they can't spell toboggan
(This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)
What do you put in a toaster joke
Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t.
What do you put in a toaster?
I usually put bread in a toaster.
You can explore spell sorceress reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spell hex dad jokes. There are also spell puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How does Bono spell color?
With or without "u"
A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.
A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."
A blonde woman finds a dead body...
Immediately, she calls the police.
She says, "Hello, I have found a dead body"
The 911 operator replies, "Ok. Thank you for letting us know. Can you tell me the street on which you found it?"
She looks around and says, "Eucalyptus Street"
The operator asks, "Can you spell it for me?"
The blonde women thinks, and tells the operator, "Don't worry, I'll just move it to Smith Street"
A mummy calls a restauraunt.
- Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.
A teacher asks her student about his favorite tree...
Teacher: "Bob, which tree do you love most?"
Bob: "The eucalyptus is pretty"
Teacher: "That's nice. How do you spell eucalyptus?"
Bob: "Yep, can't go wrong with a good solid oak"
A redneck's father passed away in his sleep
So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"
Discrimination
Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."
"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"
"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"
"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"
How do you spell candy with two letters?
C and Y
A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking...
The girl says, "hey John, how do you spell 'pedophilia?'" He responds, "gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."
A pharaoh makes a reservation in a restaurant:
"Can I reserve a table for two?"
"Sure just give me a name."
"Semerkhet."
"Would you spell it for me?"
"Bird, double triangle, wavy line, another bird, dog head, sun, scarab..."
I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.
She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!
Don't spell part backwards
It's a trap
I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.
On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."
Do you know why Oklahoma's state slogan is "Oklahoma is OK"?
Because they can't spell "mediocre".
I cant spell armegedon.
Oh well it's not the end of the world.
A Driver gets Pulled Over
A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."
Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."
Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."
Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."
Driver: "Me neither."
"Your next spelling word is: beheaded."
Can you use it in a sentence please?
"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."
ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup
If any go off, it could spell disaster
I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.
Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.
"Tony, can you spell your name backwards?"
Tony: sure... y not
At the spelling bee
Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there.
A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...
Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.
Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.
Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"
Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?
Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street
A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?"
Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."
To spell Panda
You just need P and A
Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Ba-dum-tss
What do witches use most on their phone?
Spell check
The only way to spell incorrectly correctly
Is to spell it incorrectly.
I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...
My personal spell Czech.
If everyone spells your sons name wrong...
Then you spelled your sons name wrong
I saw biggish girl at the pub last night,
Her t shirt said "watch out I'm a man eater!"
I went up to her and said " excuse me, love ... About your t shirt slogan."
She interrupted me and angrily snapped " oh let me guess: you want to know how many man I've eaten? Well, you know what, I can't help my size."
I said "Actually, no, I wasn't going to say that at all. "
She looks happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you what to say then?"
"That's not how you spell manatee."
Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.
It could spell disaster.
All of my friends told me that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. And after looking at it...
**I see why.**
A cyclops and his wife looking for their prefect holiday destination
Cyclobs: How do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: Well... You need two i's...
Cyclobs (putting the pen down): My life is just a joke to you isn't it, Linda?
I ate a bunch of scrabble pieces earlier
So going to the bathroom could spell disaster
Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?
Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital
How do pirates spell Thicc?
With seven Cs.
Why is 'dark' not spelled like 'darc'?
Because you can't c in the dark!
How do French people spell weed?
Oui'd
Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."
Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the urine is from Putin."
"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
"The handwriting's is Melania's."
They say "icy" is one of the easiest words to spell;
i c y
So what if I can't spell 'Armageddon'
It's not the end of the world
An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car
Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.
I was told I should rearrange my mood.
But that could spell my doom.
If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?
I guess it's because they don't have access to black magic...
Ok so I can't spell Armageddin
It's not the end of the world though is it?
How do you spell Canada, eh?
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next vowel movement could spell disaster.
What do you get when you spell man backwards?
PTSD
So what if I can't spell "armagedon" correctly ?
Its not the end of the world.
What the worst thing about being an illiterate wizard?
You can't spell.
"911, what's your emergency?"
Drunk redneck, "Send help, my buddy just fell and hit his head on the sidewalk. He's bleed'n like a stuck hog!"
911, "Okay sir, what's your location?"
Drunk redneck, "We're at the corner of Sycamore and Vine."
911, "Okay sir, I'm going to need you to spell that for me. "
Drunk redneck, "Si.....Sy...ah! screw it! I'll drag him on down to Maple you can pick him up there!"
Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not a c?
Because everyone knows you can't c in the dark.
At the Spelling bee
Judge: Your word is 'Invulnerable'.
Me: I-N-V-U-
Judge: I am pretty awesome.
I asked my wife, How do you spell invulnerable?
She said, I-N-V-U..
I said, Everyone does, because I'm awesome!
If you spell gender backwards...
...you might be a redneg.
I ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles. I went to the doctor and he said:
"Your next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster."
Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'."
Contestant: "C-U-N..."
Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."
Teacher: how do you spell 'crocodile'
Kid: K-R-O-K-I-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: no, that's wrong.
Kid: no, I'm right. Other people might spell it differently but you asked how I spell it.
Why did the magician flunk out of school?
He couldn't spell.
I've often heard that icy is one of the easiest words to spell.
Looking back at it now, I see why.
This is a bit wordy…
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, and now I'm experiencing some unexpected vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I got drunk last night and swallowed some scrabble tiles
Next trip to the toilet could spell disaster..
Don't bother to spell the word 'part' backwards,
It's just a trap
911, whats your emergency?
Operator:
Man: A guy just got hit by a car, i need an ambulance.
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on eucalyptus street.
Operator: Can you spell that out for me?
Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man: I'm gonna drag him over to pine street and call right back.
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles
Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements. My next trip to the bathroom could spell DISASTER.
What does a dyslexic person and a bad mage have in common?
Neither can spell.
A woman is eavesdropping on two Italian men on the bus
"First Emma come first, the I come, then two asses come together, then I come again,then to asses come together again,then a-pee twice, then finally I come again"
The woman explodes "How can you be so rude, explaining your weird sexual experiences on a bus with children in it?"
The Italian man says: "relax I was just teaching my friend to spell Mississippi!"
I just swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster...
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?"
She replied, "You need two i's."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn't it?"
I asked my friend to spell wonton backwards.
He said not now
Source: https://jokojokes.com/spell-jokes.html
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